I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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