I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize