I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
