They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
