I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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