wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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