So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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