We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
