I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
