My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
