The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
