You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
