i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
