I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
