Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
