remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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