she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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