My friends, they love my intelligence
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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