We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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