Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
