Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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