I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize