I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize