I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's just like the Real World with babies
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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