white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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