Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
