I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Its about making memories worth repressing
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
