adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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