So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
