3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
