he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
