she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
