and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
