If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
