Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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