I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
