when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
