haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He kissed a someone with a penis
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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