i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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