$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
