look no pants
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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