You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
