Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
