Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
