Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
