What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
