I like to think it a success when the cops are called
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
