I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize