The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
