I'm lost and stupid without you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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