Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
