I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
