lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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