Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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