You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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