I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
