a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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