fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Panties = found
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize