i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
