if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
