I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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