toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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