he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize