If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
