I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
