who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There r osticjed everywhere
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
