remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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