At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She bit a glass in half.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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